The Ugly American Presents:

An Ugly Life

2010-10-28T07:56:00.002-06:00

I just realized that I haven't updated this blog in almost a year... well, you see I've been a little busy -- sorry Mizz J!

I can only compare this year to the game Rollercoaster Tycoon: I went from a plain park no one wanted to visit, to a good clientel, to a crashing coaster, to the number 1 park in the nation. And here's how it all went down:

After being attacked by a mangina, I swore off men. That lasted 3 months. During that time, I played the hell out of the SIMS3:World Adventures. I didn't even miss traveling because I was so caught up in the electronic world that it didn't matter thzt the Earth was still spinning around me.

Then a boy walked in, and for the next 6 months had to deal with getting to know me. He must have had a hard time carrying around that sledge hammer to break down the barbican I had put up around myself... We fought, we laughed, we cried, we fought, we had fun, but he not once complained, well, maybe once... He has said that I'm a lot of work, but never that I wasn't worth it.

He literally held my hand as my work world fell down around me... there were things that I couldn't control that were literally eating me from the inside out. I was miserable, I had no energy, and there were days when smiling hurt my face. I considered moving states, even out of the country it was so bad. One night, I through my hands up and said the next thing that comes my way I'm taking -- consequences be damned.

Then, as if like magic, a job appeared, my realtionship settled into an understanding place, and all the pieces fit.

Somedays I feel selfish because I almost have it all... Now, I have to think of how to give it back. I have so much joy, so much love, that it's almost annoying.

This isn't the most poetic of stories, or even the most difficult to read, but it's me.

As we prepare for the end of the year and the holiday season to put a pretty bow on this whole year, I want to thank some people who helped be through it.

To Father Time - for making me forget the bad - time heals all wounds.

To Dr. Clough - for not sucking at his job, so that I am allowed to walk upright without pain.

To Yoga - although I may not LOOK in shape, you have made me FEEL in shape.

To MAOWS - who moved away and still stay in contact, you remind me why I am who I am.

To a boy - who told me not to flash midgets, and I haven't been the same since.

SO TRUE: A New Segment

2008-11-13T00:46:00.004-06:00

I never panic until I'm free falling...

PostSecret : The truths and lies we tell ourselves to get through the day

2008-02-12T22:53:00.031-06:00

*My expectations are always higher than the result

*I love a new beginning... cuz you can be anyone you want to be.

*I still believe in the God of my youth. When you count everything else out... he always manages to surprise!

*I don't know how much of myself I lost to the pills.

*Why don't I feel guilty?

*For the first time in my life I am truly happy

*There's always truth in alcohol...

*I'm ready for anything

* I promise I'll get it together...

*Will I ever be as strong as my family thinks I am?

*I'm afraid for you when I become unstoppable.

*If I feel crazy, that means I'm still sane ... right?

*I bank on you every time, and every time you let me down. I'll still bank on you tomorrow.

*Weaknesses don't make you weak... bad timing does

*I always regret over disclosure

*When people ask me how I do it... I say will power and self control

*It's been 9 years, I still pray for you.

*We only accept the love we think we deserve

*I blame you for my brief moments of crazy

* I never had anxiety until I let you vent to me

*You can't really be that nieve

*It's not me, it's you

* I hate that if you knew what I was really thinking, you wouldn't be my friend

*I'm hard to get over

*I love my friends, but they are selfish...

*I'm afraid of the dark

*I wish you could see the world through my eyes

*I play hard ball, but I think you are meaner than I am

*I'm happy when I find someone who hates the same things I do

*I don't need THIS MUCH space

*There is no time I feel more alive then when my heart is breaking

*I still have no idea what I look like, because I saw me thru your eyes... and I was beautiful.

*I like that I don't have to pretend anymore

*I've lost so many good friends to relationships

*The best is yet to come ?

*Sometimes my friends exhaust me with their stupid questions

*I wish I was as pretty as people say I am

*I wish I was better at faking it

*I never gave you a real chance

*How did she get him?!

* I told you I was at the bottom and you still looked at me like I was on the top

*I'm proud of my accomplishments

*I'm excited for tomorrow.

The Top 10 Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know

2007-12-22T00:01:00.000-06:00

1. Everything you need to be happy is inside of you.

2. The purpose of life is for you to grow into the best human being you can be.

3. Change is inevitable, so stop resisting and surrender to life's flow.

4. All obstacles are lessons in disquise - honor them and learn from them.

5. Your mind creates your experience of reality, so make your mind your friend.

6. Fear will steal your aliveness - make your courage bigger than your fear.

7. You must love yourself before you can truly give love or receive love from anyone else.

8. All relationships are your mirrors and all people are your teachers.

9. True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not what life does to you.

10. Whatever the question, love is the answer.

I guess there is just something about bald guys in black & white

2007-12-11T23:54:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPXU33iquDE

Top 4 - It could be my top 3, but this list goes to 4

2007-12-03T14:07:00.004-06:00

Most influencial people:
1. My mom - who is my biggest fan and taught me that I don't need earthly approval to validate my existance.
2. Billy Robin - My Mt. Everest - once I got over it - I knew I could do anything.
3. Jacque Butterfield - who taught me to move the line then jump over it. And that laughing until you can't breathe is the only way to laugh.
4. My great aunty June - who gave me my sense of adventure and who I aspire to be.
Death-Defying Moments
1. White Water Rafting in Costa Rica
2. Skydiving in Mt Vernon
3. Pancreatitus
4. Flying over the Pacific Ocean during a storm after watching Cast Away (ok that one is in my head but still...)
Concerts
1. Matchbox 20/Alanis
2. Garth Brooks
3. ALL of the - The Sound and the Fury shows at The Green Room
4. Brad Paisley
Restaurants
1. Buzz'z Steakhouse
2. Timberline Steakhouse
3. BRIO
4. Sushi Gin
Most Memorable things said to you
1. I baptise you in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit...
2. It's dying, until you do something about it (reguarding skydiving)
3. It's better with a lime (My first drink of corona)
4. You just have that aura about you that makes guys want to have sex with you...
Funniest People I know
1. Jacque Butterfield
2. Brian Boye
3. Jeff Wilkins
4. Chris Young
Favorite Sayings
1. And so it goes
2. You only die once
3. That's what he said...
4. Pretty doesn't have to be smart
Things that changed my life
1. The semester in England
2. My 21st birthday in Costa Rica
3. The summer France with Chris
4. Moving to Kansas City
Places I want to go/do before I die
1. See an opera in the Sydney Opera House
2. Feel Truely, Unselfishly Loved
3. Bora Bora
4. Take a cruise to Alaska
Songs that take me back...
1. Every breath you take - by The Police
2. Eternity - by Robbie Williams
3. Dirty Deeds Done Cheap - by AC/DC
4. Always - by Bon Jovi
Things I'd take with me in a fire
1. Photo Albumn(s)
2. Paper records
3. Asian Chest
4. Mr Fritters
Places I feel the happiest
1. With friends (having lunch - ususally)
2. In a hug
3. Getting to that point with a person (guy or girl) when you realize your life is better because of them
4. shopping/talking with my mom

IF CATS COULD TALK THEY WOULD LIE TO YOU

2006-06-25T00:39:00.015-06:00

THE KNIGHTS' CODE OF CHIVALRY (every man should follow)

2005-04-21T19:13:00.000-06:00

To never do outrage nor murder

Always to flee treason

To by no means be cruel but to give mercy unto him who asks for mercy

To always do ladies, gentlewomen and widows succour

To never force ladies, gentlewomen or widows

Not to take up battles in wrongful quarrels for love or worldly goods

ALL THINGS THAT SUCK

2005-02-06T02:53:00.000-06:00

This is my special list of things that I think the world would be better for if they stopped existing. If you love something on my list, please enlighten me on why I should denounce it from its honorable title 'THING THAT SUX' . If your arguement is convincing enough, I MAY rethink it on my next list...but until then let's just agree to disagree. This section of the website inspired by http://maddox.xmission.com. So with no further delay and in no particular order...my Top 10 picks.

1. The Dave Matthews Band + U2 = Pure Crap
2. Cancer (or anything horrible you didn't deserve)
3. Bad Reality Television
4. Eastern Europe
5 . Mind Game Players
6. People who claim to be individuals who don't have a unique thought in their skull.
7. Scary movies that aren't scary like any movie NOT made like http://www.sawmovie.com
8. Airplane turbulance
9. Tom Cruise
10. Metrosexuality