An Ugly Life

I just realized that I haven't updated this blog in almost a year... well, you see I've been a little busy -- sorry Mizz J!

I can only compare this year to the game Rollercoaster Tycoon: I went from a plain park no one wanted to visit, to a good clientel, to a crashing coaster, to the number 1 park in the nation. And here's how it all went down:

After being attacked by a mangina, I swore off men. That lasted 3 months. During that time, I played the hell out of the SIMS3:World Adventures. I didn't even miss traveling because I was so caught up in the electronic world that it didn't matter thzt the Earth was still spinning around me.

Then a boy walked in, and for the next 6 months had to deal with getting to know me. He must have had a hard time carrying around that sledge hammer to break down the barbican I had put up around myself... We fought, we laughed, we cried, we fought, we had fun, but he not once complained, well, maybe once... He has said that I'm a lot of work, but never that I wasn't worth it.

He literally held my hand as my work world fell down around me... there were things that I couldn't control that were literally eating me from the inside out. I was miserable, I had no energy, and there were days when smiling hurt my face. I considered moving states, even out of the country it was so bad. One night, I through my hands up and said the next thing that comes my way I'm taking -- consequences be damned.

Then, as if like magic, a job appeared, my realtionship settled into an understanding place, and all the pieces fit.

Somedays I feel selfish because I almost have it all... Now, I have to think of how to give it back. I have so much joy, so much love, that it's almost annoying.

This isn't the most poetic of stories, or even the most difficult to read, but it's me.

As we prepare for the end of the year and the holiday season to put a pretty bow on this whole year, I want to thank some people who helped be through it.

To Father Time - for making me forget the bad - time heals all wounds.

To Dr. Clough - for not sucking at his job, so that I am allowed to walk upright without pain.

To Yoga - although I may not LOOK in shape, you have made me FEEL in shape.

To MAOWS - who moved away and still stay in contact, you remind me why I am who I am.

To a boy - who told me not to flash midgets, and I haven't been the same since.